Warming or not, they're on the eve of destruction
Sydney Morning Herald
Wednesday November 25, 2009
THE Opposition began the day as a political team having a policy debate. By 3pm, they had started to look like a party entertaining thoughts of a leadership challenge. And by the time the sun succumbed to dusk, they were at merry war.At 7.30pm, when the Liberal leader, Malcolm Turnbull, was due to sashay into his Christmas drinks function for journalists, he was nowhere to be found, having departed his marathon, all-day meeting with colleagues under the most controversial of circumstances.So deranged was the general mood by that hour that nobody could agree on why, exactly, the Opposition Leader had left.He'd stormed out in a tantrum and had wrecked his own leadership, some averred. He'd left for a bite to eat and would be back, others reassured.All the signs of a party in crisis were there.The parliamentary attendants standing guard outside the Opposition party room, snapping at loitering journalists like German shepherds at a postie convention.The cluster-walks. Oh, the cluster-walks!In these troubled times, major protagonists cannot afford to be seen walking unaided from Point A to Point B. They must at all times be surrounded by a confidently smiling cluster of Loyal Supporters.Yesterday, the Coalition MPs entering their meeting at 10am were like teams of athletes arriving at the Commonwealth Games.You could almost see their little signs and hear the stadium voiceover with its dramatically rolled "Rs"."Rrrrepresenting ... the Coalition of Climate Change Believers, Death, Famine, Pestilence and The Scourge of Coastal Properties!" as Mr Turnbull, Ian Macfarlane, Scott Morrison and the rest of the ETS supporters marched in determinedly."Rrrepresenting ... The Denialists, Opponents of The Vast Left-Wing Conspiracy, Expensive Milk and a Tax On All Our Children!" as Nick Minchin, Kevin Andrews and the rest swaggered in their wake.Of course, just like the Commonwealth Games, there is always a late straggle of bit players - Federated States of Micronesia types, carrying their own signs.Wilson Tuckey representing the Independent Rebel State of O'Connor, Dennis Jensen representing Outer Space, and so on.Noon approached with no sign of an outcome from the Opposition Party Room. But soft! What nerd through yonder window breaks?It was the Prime Minister, calling his first formal Canberra press conference in months to announce the terms of his offer to the Coalition and the shovelling of further billions into the hungry beaks of the coal industry, electricity generators and so forth.Not for Rudd the indignities of an actual party debate; his caucus had happily endorsed the plan, he bragged, and he hoped that right-thinking Liberals would do likewise if they cared at all about the future of their grandchildren.Back in the Coalition party room, further mayhem had arrived; Andrew Robb, who if not for some health problems would be Malcolm Turnbull's man on climate change, announced with deep feeling he could not support the proposed compromise.Robb's declaration set off a complex series of scurryings.When the meeting broke up temporarily so the Opposition could attend question time, the negotiations carried on in the chamber.Joe Hockey disappeared with Sophie Mirabella, Macfarlane conferred with Mal Washer, while Turnbull himself toyed wanly with a sheet of paper on which were scrawled two lists of names.The smell of cordite was in the air.
© 2009 Sydney Morning Herald
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